Is my child autistic?

Often, the idea creeps up on you slowly. You might notice a few signs that your child is not behaving as others do. You may start to question if your own parenting has caused the behaviour you have observed. You could consult a search engine, or maybe talk to friends with known diagnoses. Perhaps that’s why you are reading this now (if so, do also take a look at our Resources[https://www.spectrumautismservices.org/resources]). But what are the signs that your child is autistic?

Some parents notice differences in their child from an early age, while some children can reach teenage or even adulthood before their neurodivergence is fully understood. The earlier this can be achieved, the more comfortable autistic people tend to be with their diagnoses and the sooner any necessary support can be put into place.

Communication

Many parents initially notice differences in communication. Your child may avoid eye contact or struggle to express themselves. They may also find the language and expressions of others confusing, especially sarcasm and jokes, and may find it hard to start or maintain a conversation. Nonverbal communication is also hard for some of our autistic children; they may struggle to interpret facial expressions, body language, and gestures. Tone of voice can be particularly tricky for these children to understand.

Social interaction

The nuances of social interactions can be a minefield for neurodivergent people generally, but particularly for autistic children who have not yet developed the skills to cope in a neurotypical world. They often have trouble understanding social cues and creating friendships. They may need help understanding other people's perspectives. They frequently find it tough to join in with group activities and may lack interest in this altogether. Autistic children may prefer to play alone or alongside, rather than with, others. They may also find understanding the emotions and perspectives of others problematic and might not understand the significance of social relationships.

Repetitive behaviours

Some, but not all, autistic children display repetitive behaviours, such as flapping their hands, rocking or spinning. In the autistic community these actions are referred to as “stims” and they help the child to self-comfort and regulate their emotions. Stimming might also be less obvious, such as hair twisting or pulling, nail biting, fidgety feet etc. and can be verbal (echolalia, or repeating sounds or words from a favourite TV programme). Autistics may also have a strong interest in a certain topic, hobby or object and can become fixated on it to the exclusion of other activities. In older children and adults who have learned to mask, these fixations are often socially “acceptable” topics like Disney, football, or gaming.

None of these observations on their own are enough to tell us that your child is autistic, and not all autistic people display all the signs (most don’t). This is why it’s so important to talk to a professional about your concerns and to have a diagnostic assessment carried out by a multidisciplinary team before reaching any conclusions. For more information, see our section About Autism[https://www.spectrumautismservices.org/about-autism] and Autism Pathway[https://www.spectrumautismservices.org/assessment-process].

As we know that autism is genetic (and not caused by any medications such as vaccines or paracetamol), a good indication that your child is autistic is if they already have a family member with a diagnosis. As society and doctors have got better at identifying neurodivergence over recent years, it’s also equally likely that your child may be the first in their family to be diagnosed. Frequently, though, they are not the last.